|
[11 Feb 2004|07:46pm] |
new journal = knikcalbderaems.
add me.
|
|
| theyve taken control. |
[03 Feb 2004|03:50pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 determined |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
kill bill. |
] |
i seem to be getting into a lot of fights lately.
its just the three of us. no fuckwittage.
( pictures of you. )
|
|
| konsumer produkt. |
[01 Feb 2004|12:42am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
strangled, beaten up. |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
kraftwerk. |
] |
im so excited about coachella. you dont even know. kim smells. youdontevenknowyoudontevenknowyoudontevenknowyoudontevenknowyoudontevenknow. please keep movingawayfromme,kim. tickets go on sale on valentines day at noon. if anyone needs a place to stay during those two days i might be able to help a brotha out. depends on how much i like you.
my camera is in c-moneys car. every month there are going to be good shows. mars volta. blood brothers. modest mouse. not to mention coachellaagain. LETTERKILLS is at my school. i never thought id see him again. hes so pleasing to the eyes not to mention...he hangs out with my cute john.
mikey pierced his lip. its cute. i hope his parents dont go berzerker. i hate school. the perfect score was stupid. but it was something.
ive been scared out of a good time. i hate you. i hate the effect of you inslashout of my life. i saw you today. but it wasnt you. it was someone just like you. and i was scared.
and it hurts so much to know that they have so much pain in their lives and they are so much alike and i could never make it go away for either of them. i wasnt good enough. not for one second.
for my homegirl marco. bring me back a plate.
|
|
| please keep moving. |
[28 Jan 2004|08:45pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 artistic |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
rabbit in your headlights. |
] |
we are all so worried about you. can you live with a broken heart? a broken spirit? a broken mind?
my mom painted my nails. i wish i could acquire the elegance and grace. my body is giving out on me. no lie.
( a preview of my life. )
better keep moving. </3
|
|
| a mint is a place where coins are made. |
[26 Jan 2004|09:45pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sad |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
kinetic. |
] |
one day. one day she will find me in the bath tub. her fears will come true.
broken hearts will come out of her eyes.
c-money is here to stay. if you aint sucka free dont fuck with me. the best days are yet to come. school is such a waste of my time. i do less than i did before. thats practically nothing.
its so hard for me being without you for even small increments of time. you just dont even know. 48 more hours to go.
youd never know that i cry every night all because of you.
|
|
| burn piano island burn |
[21 Jan 2004|07:05pm] |
i dont have any motivation to do anything so i just sleep.
so its opposite land.
its hot hot hot and theres 100% chance of passion.
|
|
| im feeling this. |
[19 Jan 2004|06:34pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
chill |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
the aquabats. |
] |
i am the epitomy of the atkins diet. my mom thinks im a hardxcore druggie. if im one then shes clean. [hah.] im moving if i dont get a transfer. no lie. im done with this place.
monday | cortnaah. wes. alex.
-went to ikea and innout and best buy and inner visions. alex is an okay driver. bleh.
sunday | cortnaah. wes. elisa. tiffany. scotty.
-went to the swap meet. got new tunnels. they are awesome. dropped elisa off at some conference thingie. went to horton plaza. went to amc palm. saw along came polly. went to scottys. met tiffany. fucked up cars. ditched wes for 10 minutes. tried to pick up little boys. HIT AND RUN. went to the woods pool. chilled at home with the krew.
saturday | cortnaah. wes. drake. dane.
-chilled with my little bro and the homies. hung around. fucked with iles fish. picked up dane. stole my flamingo back. made beer biscuits. sat around.
friday | cortnaah. wes. jay. elisa.
-went to elisas house and did nothing. went to the woods pool and swam. that pool is the fucking shit. its so pimp.
|
|
| im drowning. |
[10 Jan 2004|09:33am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 aggravated |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
bjork. |
] |
its all my fault. i did it to you. thats what really hurts.
darling stop confusing me with your wishful thinking. hopeful embraces. dont you understand? i have to go through this. i belong to here where no one cares and no one loves. no light. no air to live in. a place called hate. the city of fear.
i play dead. it stops the hurting. i play dead and hurting stops. its sometimes just like sleeping. curling up inside my private tortures. i nestle into pain. hug suffering. caress every ache. i play dead. it stops the hurting.
to be honest. i really dont care.
|
|
| sometimes we wish we knew. |
[09 Jan 2004|12:44pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 contemplative |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
postal service. |
] |
so ive been thinking a lot lately...
and i guess i realised what i want to do with my life.
and i guess i realised what i want out of life.
if i ever said i hated someone. i lied. i dont think i could hate anyone. i just avoid them because im afraid they hate me.
and i guess i realised that this year cannot compare with last year. but it can try.
and i guess i realised who my friends are.
you ask me about my past and though i appear to be staring blankly i am really remembering all the lonely nights and then all the fantastic nights of being together. and all the parties. and all the loving moments. and all the pain. all the inside jokes. everything i could have sworn i had forgotten. forgetting. forgot. gone.
i have pneumonia.
|
|
| so this is the new year... |
[03 Jan 2004|12:00am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 drunk |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
futurama |
] |
i cant believe bitches are talking shit. thats hilairious.
elisa and janos cousins are really cute. the last part of tonight was good. its the ideal. and im glad that people love me. i hope that sal and company succeeded in their events tonight.
i feel the social glare. i feel the attitude.
|
|
| anarchyxcore props. |
[31 Dec 2003|10:09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 amused |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
old men laughter. |
] |
i think i have two friends. total. everything is upside down.
-"whats going on reed!?"
-*kailah face*
i might have turned into a recluse.
( christian suburbanite. )
|
|
| twenty inch blades on an impala. |
[20 Dec 2003|11:26am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
complacent |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
lil troy |
] |
and all this drinkin will catch up.
and all this smokin will cath up.
some niggas just really dont give a fuck.
tuesday. went to music trader and picked up the radiohead sticker from alfredito finally. waited in a mad crazy line for lord of the rings. but me and dane stayed in the car to bump the zak and to be warm. poor eric and sal stayed in line.
wednesday. went to the 1201am showing of lord of the rings with dane and eric and sal. went to dennys. went to some mexican place in bonita. went to school. fell asleep during my ap final. hung out with andy and sal.
thursday. gave sean and brad cookies and a pepsi. went to scottys house. watched surf ninjas! via picked me up and we were supposed to go paint stuff and then her car was overheating so we went to the gas station and let it cool down. we hung out with tommy for a bit. then we went to my house and it died on my street and left a stain. it was towed to the gas station we went to earlier. then via got picked up by homies and i got picked up by mormons. me and dane and the mormons went to coronado and ate at wendys.
friday. i stayed home all day. dane came over around 5ish. we made an awesome rap mix.
im gonna take his manhood and his music. ey. wheres the ky?
|
|
| bella stanza |
[15 Dec 2003|10:46pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
calm |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
rem |
] |
[seen at a glance] i could really use some boobs in the face.
[seen at a glance] because you know, that's all you're good for.
[utterly hetero] true that.
bitch got told today during ap euro. i was like the smartest kid ever for like 10 seconds. best watch your step. i kind of expected finals to be hard. but then i realised that school is a joke. my computer is being a bitchwhore because i have too many pictures on it but it wont let me delete any. gwar! me and silvia have found jesus. in a truck and in a manger.
ive been waiting since birth to find a love that would look and sound like a movie.
|
|
| the errors of the edge. |
[13 Dec 2003|03:34pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
disappointed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
smashing pumpkins. |
] |
thought i should update. dont know what to write. cant really remember a lot. lots of hanging out with dane and via. i hope i get to go to rilo kiley. i hope holidays dont suck.
as long as you can. if we dont reunite in time...will try again.
i wish some people were still my friends.
|
|
| no pictures and no sex. |
[06 Dec 2003|11:10pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
outkast |
] |
saturday school was fun. who knew...
slyvia and carina and getting lost and tower records and hillcrest and seaport village and innout and serial killers were fun. and the last samurai was pretty good. long. but good.
dane is dead.
im so tired. i havent gotten anything done. except study for my ap euro test. agony and woe.
|
|
| yall cant deny it. im a fucking riot. |
[04 Dec 2003|09:57pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
ecstatic |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
incubus. |
] |
I just witnessed the gayest thing ever. Eastlake vs. Hilltop wrestling match. Fuckin' a. I could die happy. There are no words to describe. IT WAS OFF THE CHAIN.
I have a grip of homework to do. Best step on it for semester grades.
we dont suck dick. yall dont wanna fuck with me.
|
|
| and you will know us by... |
[03 Dec 2003|10:37pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
nostalgic |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
the shins |
] |
did you just die in his arms tonight? was it something he said?
so dane and silvia surprised me today at school and we went away to music trader. i missed alfredito. it was nice. it was sweet. i just find it touching when people pick me up from school.
i just want it to be april again. the quality of living has decreased. everything is catching. this is the worst year so far.
thank you for giving me all of my memories. i think about them every day.
|
|
| hatehatehate |
[30 Nov 2003|09:39pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
bitchy |
] |
my family is crazy. thanksgiving was decent aside from the fact that i was without my sex&chocolate for a long time. im so tired. i think da boiz got me sick.
( alex inspired me. )
i wish we had acted like every time we saw eachother would be our last.
|
|
| define your soul |
[22 Nov 2003|10:43pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blah |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
radiohead |
] |
ive decided that tequilla is the worst tasting thing in the world.
and that i completely zone out way too much.
and that im an asshole.
and the secret garden is the best movie.
and my mom hid my pyjamas and i have to wear booty shorts and a tank top instead.
and elisa makes the best chai ever.
and that i want someone to text me.
and that i dont know what i want.
and that marcus was the coolest cat ever in the play.
and that it was great seeing my fag ex boyfriend again.
and i dont want to leave my house.
and that i wish my scars wouldnt fade because i love them and everything they remind me of.
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
ahh_diddums's journal